Suse Mammen

'Nativity' by Martha Fiennes

2011-11-23T04:50:00.000-08:00

Inside a dark, triangular building fronted with wood. You could be
thinking you are about to enter something related to a fairytale. But
when you go into this dark rooms you are met by a room with a
projected moving image. It is not a picture but not a film.

The scene gently, slowly transitions. The background of what could be
modern day Palestine changes as you focus on the character in the
centre of the picture. The Madonna aka Mary, is a elegant middle
eastern woman in the traditional blue. She is sat cross legged,
showing her ankles. Her long hair around her, holding the baby Jesus.
The ery music makes the scene come across as dark. Sitting and
contemplating the image in front of you, means you don't notice the
sky turn dark and the stars appear. Nor the broken buildings give way
to the dessert.

How the picture moves and progresses depends upon the programme. A new
media called SLOimage. What the Director/artist is trying to portray
is an interesting one. The bright light that engulfs Mary and baby
Jesus while, a woman in scarlet looks on with 2 men sat cross legged
to the left, makes you wonder- is this the glory of heaven or a
portrayal of the Angel Gabriel.

This is an intriguing piece of art. What response would people have?
Is it painting the story of Christs birth as a fairy tale with it's
dark nature? Is it trying to provoke people to ask questions?

This I would not describe as a nativity for children in Covent Garden

Being Caught Short

2011-11-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

It was just starting to get dark and I was alking along Holly Walk, reminiscing to myself about my days at school and remembering the many happy days I spent in the drama studio. I suddenly realised, as I passed one of the house whose wall is on the walk and the door is set back in a cove of the wall, there was a man standing facing the wall. At first didn't think anything of it, but then he apologised. Which made me realise he was peeing up against the wall.

I kept walking, thinking, that was right next someone's front door and he didn't look the type. (ok, shouldn't stereotype but, he didn't). I was walking up by the playing fields... when he walked past, looking somewhat is a rush and embarassed.

'I am so sorry. I don't normally do things like this normally. But it was raining and I was bursting. Sorry, if you saw anything.'

Said all v quickly. My response - laugh and smile, 'don't worry'. Why was I so polite?! 'I'm sorry' he says as walks quickly up the Row of houses ahead of me. I wante to say 'Be glad I wasn't a teenage girl leaving school' in annoyance, but didn't. That was not a decent enough excuse for doing it.

The thing I don't understand with men - v few women, will pee in a bush - men on the other hand... I had seen 2 men peeing in the church yard. Why can't they walk the 100yards to the public loo's in the shopping precinct. No they have to urinate in full public view. A place where children or teenagers walk past. This subject is being discussed on the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2.

MEN PLEASE USE PUBLIC FACILITIES, DON'T PEE OUTSIDE SOMEONE'S FRONT DOOR!

Memories

2011-09-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

I have just helped my parents put a broken run and chewed hutch (or 2) into the back of their car to go off to the tip. My rabbits, Jeff and Steff, who we were 15 months old died whilst I was on holiday. Whether it was the fox that broke in the side of the hutch or that they possible had a parasite. I never understood how people got emotional attached to animals but I now do. They had character, jeff was boisterous chap, who would chase around would pull his bowl towards me when I was clearing them out. He would more likely let you pick him up. Steff was shy and jumpy. She had sad eyes with long eye lashes. She was the smaller and had a bony bum. She didn't like to be pick up but when she was she would sit and chill out watching a rom com. They are now buried in the garden. the vicar buried them with a bamboo cross like you get on rememberance sunday in the garden.

My Dad found my cabbage patch dolls in the loft, which we have been looking for since I moved back from leicester. I have just pulled them out the bag. the are a bit dusty and grubby. But they are full of memories - all 10 of them. Sidney, Lily, Edward, Luke, Harry, Flo..... to name a few. Rose has always been sitting on my bed. She has travelled around with me. I know some thing they are ugly but to me they are so much of my childhood. Just need to see whether my future husband would let them live with us eventually.

Animals and Cabbage Patch Kids are not what some people will consider loveable but I do. They were both refered to as my 'children' and brought much joy.

Knowledge & Faith

2011-06-16T03:28:00.001-07:00

This morning I was reflecting with my mentor about the affect that theological study has on your faith.

Growing up in a non-conformist church which had the tag line 'Bible-based, Christ-centred, Spirit-led' going to theological college was a shock to the system. Until I went to college, I had always read the creation narrative as literal and never questioned whether Abraham was a real man. Although such things haven't destroyed my faith they have shaken them. Maybe you are reading this thinking, why didn't you ask those questions earlier? As a teenagers, and young question I didn't question the existance of God and the context of a passage didn't bother me, I lived my faith out. Striving to be a radical disciple for Jesus. Something I still hunger for.

From a biblicist perspective and the challenges of Theological study, I am finding myself re-looking at scripture. Trying to still study with the passion for it and with the knowledge in the background.

Little knowledge is dangerous. But is too much dangerous too? Do we need to know everything before we study the bible?
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Susannah Mammen is fundraising for Cancer Research UK

2011-04-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

Susannah Mammen is fundraising for Cancer Research UK

Running past school

2011-03-04T03:25:00.001-08:00

What a comparison? This morning I went jogging, which coincided with school run. Not the best time as the park was so busy. But it left me thinking....

There is a school on the edge of the park, there were a lot of mums and dads walking. As I jogged pass numerous mums in their hijabs, it made me think back to when I was at school. There weren't girls in headscarves or that many people who were non-white British. I knew very little of other cultures. The Mum's in the play ground were the yummy mummies and there wasn't anyone black in my glass. Whether it's purely a geographical change from outer to inner London ... Or just a sign of the times, I think it is probably a mix of the two. But I certainly enjoy living in a diverse community. For the time I lived in a village where there was only one person I saw who was not white, I felt I was in a foreign land.

The majority of the youth group are white British... But that doesn't reflect the conmunity. There is a need for change there! But how to do it?
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Gnomeo and Juliet

2011-02-27T10:10:00.001-08:00

The story of star-crossed lovers. A story told, and retold down the centuries. Even Shakespeare's telling was not a new one....

Definitely a classic film. It is up there with Toy Story. A film for all the family. Has the jokes for the kids, and the ones that go straight over their heads. It played on the fact that the majority of people over the age of 11, know the basic plot of Romeo and Juliet. A romance between two people from 2 opposing sides.

The voices and animation can't be faulted. with the star studded cast and the memorable characters, you will leave the cinema with a smile on your face. The gnome in the mankini and the frog maid.

It just shows that a film suitable for 4 year olds and above, does not have to be dull and a film with a fairy take ending, entertains the majority.

I would this film 9/10.
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When it comes to mission....

2011-02-17T03:18:00.000-08:00

For those of you reading this blog for a while will know that the thing that gets my blood pumping and my excitement rising in my stomach is mission. Getting out and sharing the Love of God with people.

Last night, I had the first meeting with a group of young leaders who I plan to take to Uganda for 10 day to preach and minister to the believers there. It reminded of me, of how exciting it is to seek God. I haven't even got serious with praying for the mission but already God is tugging the heart strings, and the need to I need to look a fresh. 'Look with new eyes for potential' - Pete Grieg.

I think this passage could be at the heart ... We are going to Uganda to bring hope and encouragement to the believers.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners (Isaiah 61:1)

Real People: Simeon

2010-12-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

As a child I heard the Christmas story SOOOO many times. Mary the young woman who wore blue and carried Jesus, the image of a 6 year old girl in the christmas nativity, sitting in front of a manger. The 6 year old me, putting her feet up on the manger. Joseph, a character no boy really wanted to be because it wasn't that exciting. Not like a king, where you could wear shiny garments and carry a posh pot. Then there are the ones that never really appeared in the Christmas nativity at school or in church, Simeon and Anna..... names we hear but not necessarily know who they are or where they fit.

Simeon is a man who has stuck in me head. On the 8th day, as the law said, the baby Jesus was taken to the temple to circumcised. Jesus was a real baby, who pooed, cried, vomited after being fed. Not the dolly that was wrapped in a t-towel a placed in a artistic trough. Simeon was a man who was 'righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel' (Luke 2:25. He had been revealed the by the Holy Spirit that he would not die until he had seen the Lord's Messiah - the one that all Israel had been waiting for. Simeon waited. We are not told how long he was waiting, now hold old he was. But he waited, knowing that he would see the Messiah within his lifetime. He trusted God....

"Simeon is a good role model for those of who find it hard to sit still. His waiting had made him more watchful, not less, and his patient faith was rewarded. He was ready to move on to God's next chapter with a heart full if peace' Shock and Awe, Ian Coffey

We tend to only ponder parts ofthe Christmas story at this time of year. But there is so many layer with in the nativity, the incarnation was something that affected all of history, not purely one day a year.

‘Central event in the history of the earth – the very thing the whole story have been about’ – C. S. Lewis

Simeon, knew the Holy Spirit and responded to what he said. He had the boldness to take Jesus in his arms and speak over him. Words that would marvel his parents. Word's with such depth you could spend ages unpacking them...

This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are.
Luke 2:34-35

Why Christmas?

2010-12-11T04:39:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year when we start to think 'where are the Christmas decks?' and 'have I got presents for everyone?' Those questions aren't particularly bothering me this year....

In a bizarre moment, I got everything ready early. The majority of the Christmas presents are wrapped and the cared are half written. Tomorrow I am speaking at our Christmas All Age Carol Service and I am finding myself asking more questions...

The questions I have stock answers for but realising, I need to wrestle them. A friend send every sermon he often finds he has to wrestle with. You know the questions - why did Jesus have to be born in the first place? Why Christmas? Why did Jesus have to come AS a baby? Why Jesus, why not Trevor? (Ok that sounds daft!) I am asking questions of Christmas....
Part of me feels daft for asking these questions, been in church for 24 years and a christian for 8! But what is the meaning of Christmas? What is the heart of it? Stock answers I fine for the head... but when does it affect laugh! If I strip away the decorations, the presents, the traditional 7 Christmas services, the food, the over spending, the commercialism.... what is Christmas?!

Review: Starbucks Enfield

2010-10-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

This place has been there for as long as I can remember. Well that is not strictly true, it opened when I was in about year 8 and I went there on a date. Which was my first experience of a coffee shop like this and stuck with hot chocolate. Previous experience had been Olivers which was a treat. Never would I have thought I would become a coffee addict.

Today I had a skinny chai tea late, the spices are great to penetrate my blocked nose. I found it very filling. The new arrangement is my nose friendly and spaced well for girlie heart to hearts, without feeling that you are being evesdropped upon. The staff were prompt and the coffee was served very quickly.

Starbucks is like many other chain stores. You know what you are getting and one is very much the same as the next. They hold little character and whether in central London or in the suburbs it attracts a business like clientele - be it businessman or students, they are to be seem sitting alone tapping on laptops. This persona is strong, even the mums that drop in seem business like, yummy mummies.

review: The Hummingbird, Soho

2010-10-27T05:50:00.000-07:00

The pink and brown decor excentuated the colouring of the cakes. The cakes were like a beautiful rainbow to look at. The seating was minimal, and for someone who is vertically challenged, the side seating was rather high, that involved a jump-like climb to get on to them. My hansom companion had no problem who had the right height for high chairs.

The coffee was pleasant, sensibly size and the service was good with some very smiley people. The chocolate brownie that had a icing hummingbird dusted on the top looked too nice to eat. It was filling and if anything slightly too big. The door left open allowed for some not that pleasant aromas to wander in but the big window was perfect for people watching. It was overall an enjoyable experience which was complemented by the company.

Review: Muffin Break Enfield

2010-10-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

This week, I am going to review each coffee shop I visit whilst on my annual leave.

Enfield Town and the surroundings is a area of hairdressers and coffee shops. Chase Side seems to have one every other shop. The Town has just had a new coffee establishment open, 'Muffin Break'. Although I can't remember what was there previously, I was surprised to see it open next door but one to Nero. The establishment which I normally frequent with colleagues when in Enfield.

Muffin Break is a bigger establishment than the other coffee shops and has more of a krispy kreme/McDonald's feel to it's neighbour. The focus is on muffins rather than coffee, but yet the menu is almost identical to anywhere else - toasties, muffin, cakes, milkshakes.

From the outside I got the impression that the coffee quality would be lower but cheaper. But as I discovered a small 'long black' was £2 whereas Starbucks and Nero are significantly cheaper.

The Service was ok, althought it was evident that for many of the staff they were new to the game of working in coffee shops. They were in training and were in nervous looking huddles around the coffee machine. The manager has to point out the cutomers that were waiting. The gentleman that served me was pleasant, but not did not raise confidents in me.

There skinny coffee's were made with semi rather than skimmed milk. Which I was not impressed by... but still had a cappucino.

I recognise that they are new but they have strong established competition ... I will be interested to see if they last.

The Tale of Two Brains

2010-10-02T03:18:00.000-07:00

Power from the Spirit

2010-08-29T02:23:00.000-07:00

If you have the power, why aren't you using it? It makes a difference. This guy had grit and despite stuff, kept going to win souls for the Kingdom.

http://www.ucb.co.uk/word_for_today

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 6

2010-08-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

3pm - It's results day! Mama and Dad are shocked at their not waking up until 9 compared to their usual 6.30- at home or 7.30 on holiday. The weather is rather wet today. We headed into St David's again. Visited book shops and pondered buying a book on celtic tradition. Instead purchased some jam and sweets as holiday pressies. The heavens opened so we pegged it back to the car for our picnic lunch. :-)

8.26pm - The weather has been wet and windy all afternoon, in the dramatic way only camping can do. Plucked Mama's eyebrows, Is did my hair and played cards. WE got take away fish 'n' chips and sat in the car at Whitesands bay, watching surfers while the rain continued to pour. When it easer, Is and I walked along the beach, leaving Dad to continue eating at this speed. Head back to tent for brew and bed. Tonight was a classic last night of a mammen holiday.

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 5

2010-08-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

The weather's been good although with a questioning look. We headed for St David's. Mama and Dad sat with a coffee while Is and I walked to the cathedral. Is wondered around being ever the religious studies student who is from a evangelical free background. Her favourite feature was a wooden door that had a rustic feel. I, the "christian" theology student, although suprised by the lack of stain glass windows but marvelled at the simplistic celtic architecture with it's vastness. We sat in a pew contemplating the elaborate vestments and the building; and the theological thinking behind it. I ponder how such a building could invoke a sense of reverence. mama and Dad were in a pew further back, who were looking at the sloping floor to the altar.

Is and I went for an ice cream. Before meeting the grow'd ups for lunch. Heading to Whitesands Beach for a few hours. The wind had picked up - we headed back for a late tea of pizza. Too much sun sent me to bed early.

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 4

2010-08-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

From a windswept groyne in West Wales!

The weather has turned and with it to the traditional Mammen holiday attire of flip flops, shorts and waterproof has appeared. We popped to fishguard to checkout the station. The small, almost unused station was hidden at the foot of the cliff behind the harbour. Mum asked, some confused looking officials who had been watching us drive up and down the car park, 'Where's the station?'. They responded with laughter and pointing behind us to the building next to the track. Where else would a station be, but next to the harbour?

We went to Strumble Head, we climbed over it and sat dotted across the headland, pondering. We headed back for boritoes and wine.

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 3

2010-08-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

'Look at those frivolous young people going to the toilets'. Who needs TV when you've got Dad and his comments? I do wonder whether people think we're mad. A man came over this morning who had been to Spring Harvest - he'd seen the car sticker.

We went to Whitesands bay - the Newquay of West Wales. There does seem some nbice looking me round here. We went to CK - the nearest supermarket in this so called smallest city, to by cooked chicken. It was about 5 miles from campsite.

I'm explaining this strange world of 'mytwitblogface' to Mama whom can't quite work it all out. She gonna stick to knitting.

Is is an angry card player, with a crap poker face. 'I had 5, 7, 9 odd diamonds but I put 'em down. I'm above you card.. .I thought' The rain spattering had begun....

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 2

2010-08-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

The sun is out, the sky is blue...

We drove down to Aberiddi, sat on the beach, ate lunch, read books, paddled...

Reminded me of teen holidays. We headed back to the campsite with varying degrees of redness. Picked up another book... We had tea - eggs and tat 'n' beans - cleared up by 7.30. Virtually non-existent in the Mammen family... What happened?!

We went down to White Sands Bay, had magnums (aaaaaaaa)walking down the beach watching the sunset. Is and I had some classic silly sister time, writing in the sand and trying to take pictures mid-jump. It's like Watergate bay. Went back to the campsite for brew and bed.

Camping with Parents at St David's : Day 1

2010-08-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

A bird of black colouring decided to make the awning it's home and christened the top of my inner tent... which had been erected in the awning. There's no signal on sit or around. Not so bad really - probably quite healthy to be out of contact. Who was it who said 'you should withdraw yearly'?

After getting up late - we walked down to the beach at Aberiddi, had a coffee and watched some yummy men jump of the cliffs in to the sea. I think it's called coast-eering. I wouldn't do it but it looked exciting. There's something to be said regarding going away with parents when they've got used to living without children around.

Return?

2010-08-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

Been reflecting on mission, it is recognised that as a church we follow a model of 'come and see' rather than 'Go to'. When there are such a outreaches as healing on the streets or treasure hunting, have we gone with an expectation of return?

Such outreaches hope that people will be blessed and then 'come and see' what's going on in a church congregation. What outreach do we as church do, where we don't expect a return? Where we go and serve those that can't do anything in return?! For example, clearing parks or estates, similar to the 'Ground level' teams at Message 2000 or at Soul in the City. Have we turned to a world view, that we expect returns?

Zebra Crossing

2010-07-30T02:47:00.000-07:00

In suburban areas you will finds these strange stripes on the road that mean - a pedestrian can cross here. I took my theory driving test and I remember that a driver is meant to slow down as they approach the strange stripes, enabling them either to slow down or to keep going with out affecting the traffic, whilst driving below the 30mph speed limit.

The set of lines near my house - which many drivers seem to use as alternative to Green Lanes (the 'high road') - it appears to have an alternative meaning. let's speed up and even if someone looks like they are about to step on to the set of stripes let keep going ... and maybe give her a shock by speeding up, acting like she does not exist.

'Never assume the traffic will stop' because they most likely won't!

Fairy Tale Weddings....

2010-07-27T11:52:00.001-07:00

Conversations starter on relationships and marriage....HERE

Anne Boleyn at The Globe

2010-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Last night i went to see Anne Boleyn at the Globe . When I booked to go and see it, I didn't know what I was going to see. I'd said I'd go to the Globe with a friend and so picked what was on. I didn't know it was not Shakespeare until I got there (daft I know).

This play is great. A few weeks ago I had gone to see Henry VIII and had enjoyed but not half as much as I enjoyed Anne Boleyn.

Anne Boleyn is often portrayed as the wife of a tyrant or a ruthless reformer, but in this portrayal, by Howard Brenton, Miranda Raison plays her as witty, confident woman who is in love with Henry and committed to her faith. The discussion of tudor politcs and theology was warming. This view of Anne is one that I'd never have considered - it was a breath of fresh-ness. I'd never considered her as a reformer - but in such a male dominated world - which is evident in this piece - would I have considered her as more that the primary school memory. A woman who was thought a witch with a 6 finger, therefore covered her hands.

James Garnon's portrayal of James I was delightful. He had me roaring with laughter and realising I didn't know what was historical fact and what was artistic license.

Amy and I reflected on the way back to the tube, that despite the nature of the historical and theological events that are debated, it left a warm glow of energy. Amy was pleased by the Stig and David Tennant lookalikes .... John Dougall and Anthony Howell (My teen pin-up aka 'Roger Hamley').

This play is definitely a must see. If it weren't for the language (more understandable) you could think you were seeing a shakespeare, the sexual innuendo and the presence of ghosts haunting kings of the future. I think I might see it again!

Shame and Honour

2010-06-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Don't you love it when a piece of insight into something bring chunks of scripture. Well this one really excited me.

I was in a lecture on Hebrews, as part of the Understanding the Bible module, we've been talking a lot about the Shame-Honour culture of first century Mediterranean. Your deity was based upon your trade - therefore becoming a christian brought shame upon you because you had stepped away from the deity your trade stated you should worship. Maybe, I was having a Jackson (from Gilmore Girls) moment, takes a week to realise what people are talking about... But during the lecture I had this fresh understanding of the passage in romans

there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1

Those that had stepped away from their 'trade' deity were told they had brought shame on themselves. So, they should come back so they would be 'shame free'. This passage is saying there is 'no condemnation for those that are in Christ', is a bit like saying 'there is no Shame in being in Christ.' You are not going to bring shame on yourself by following Christ rather that the 'trade' deity. You are shame-less or not condemned when in Christ Jesus. I suppose it's similar to today's culture of gangs - you are under the protection of the gang whilst you pledge allegiance to it. But when you step away shame is brought it upon you.

Pledging your allegiance to Christ Jesus, is not the done thing. But this says there is no shame.

maybe, I've not understood this properly but it excited me! :-) rt

My Mum

2010-06-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

It's crazy, is it not, as you grow up you just accept what is around but not recognise what it is? This morning I sat in 'The Hut' with My Mum and some of her friends, and someone from work was with me, they were talking about the history of 'The Hut'. I was suddenly realising what my Mum does and what she has always done.

'The Hut' is a basically a Christian run community centre. They say they're Christian's but the majority of people who walk through there doors are not. The are in essence missional. Week in week out they run groups for different community groups. It's been there since pre-1920. They have on the whole served women. It was set up for something for single women to do on their days off and the work grew. It's amazing that the building is still standing. I grew up around that building. Mum has been involved there for 28 years. She first went there to take my older brother to Mum 'n' Toddlers and as the years went on got more and more involved. She now co-ordinate the work.

As a child I spent many hours in the hall, generally while Mum did things - committee meetings, bible studies; but also going to playgroup, going to Salt 'n' Pepper (kids after school club)and being encouraged by those involved. I now wonder - is it any surprise that my passion is to see the church being fundamentally community and missional, when I grew up in that culture. A setting where everyone was my family.

Today I realised that my Mum is, to give it a modern term, an urban-missionary. She works in the middle of a community with a primary and secondary school, she knows so many people who live in the area and they know her. How counter-cultural can you get? Staying in one area for 30+ years. People tend to move on every few years.

'Compare to despair' - in teens and early twenties people very often compare what there parents do, to those they are coming into contact with and despair. Thinking 'yeah that's great, but not in comparison to this over here'. Over the past few weeks I've realised that's what I'd done. I didn't see what I'd grown up in and how amazing it was. My colleague who was with me commented 'that it was exciting and made him sad' because he just saw what we weren't doing.

My Mum, the work she and 'The Hut' is doing for the Kingdom is amazing! THANK YOU JESUS FOR MY MUM!

2010-06-17T03:52:00.000-07:00

Well Steff and Jeff have been living here nearly a month now! They are gorgeous and I can't imagine not having them here... but sometimes... they are funny to watch. I'm thinking it's the teenage moods, Steff this morning has flipped her food bowl over and broken it in half. when I tried to replace with a plastic one, she flipped that as well and dragged it round. Actually it could be the terrible 2's - throwing food on the floor... although the fact they've torn and strewn newspaper all over the place makes me think it's teens.

Is it nesting? Steff is constantly cleaning out the bedroom! hmm... The are interesting to watch.

What I assumed would be their bedroom, has become the toilet! I do wonder what they'll do if they have babies! They are interesting to watch most certainly!

Love is a temporary madness

2010-06-15T02:59:00.000-07:00

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

Dr Iannis, Captain Correlli's Mandolin, Louis De Bernieres

Experience? Head?

2010-05-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

What sort of balance should there be between head and heart?

Schleiermacher said that we can only be sure of our religious experience, that which is within your human experience. Therefore, how can we be sure of God because the very concept of the vastness of God is beyond human understanding. (apologies to scholars if I've this wrong but I'm trying to understand it) But surely if we focus on personal experience, people who are going through periods of doubt, they can't 'feel' God, what are they supposed to base thing on?

Ok - maybe i've got this wrong. But, doubt tends to happen when we are not able to physically experience....

2010-05-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Theology, Christology, pneumatology! I think my brain is slightly fried. During the week I have been to college and then a 2 days conference. Followed by the last of the LET sessions in Haringey.

The crazy things about all this 'ology' is that in many ways it is just a way of helping us talk about God and God ideas that are beyond our understanding. It is very interesting and I love it... but there is a point where actually the talking needs to stop and the action needs to happen... Can you ever think too much?

What about the man passed out in the church garden hungover? Responding to the need?

The 'come to me' mentality of the church stops and they 'go' to where they are. The language barrier, isn't one. It can be pushed aside by the desire to serve and love.

vermisst Deutschland

2010-05-12T14:42:00.000-07:00

It was quite an experience going to Deutschland! From going so short notice, to doing what I love; to going to the place my ancestors are from. I discovered a part of me I never knew. I felt so at home there, it was bizarre. I loved worshipping God and experiencing his presence and power. I loved the people we met... but I'm sure I got more out of it than I gave. We did some schools work, confirmation classes, youth and kids groups, set up/ran a 24 hour prayer room, a youth service... a busy few days. I got more from giving the time to God that I gave.

It was my first trip and certainly wasn't my last. One evening another member of the team commented 'Now we've discovered you're German....' but there is something in German culture about logically working through things. Any experience has to be proceeded or followed by a logical path of understanding it. This was a great thing to watch and to listen. I do think but don't like it particularly... but I have come away with some thoughts and ponderings... the place of prayer and worship in the church, serving the poor, how we teach... what am I doing and why?!

The most thought provoking experience was in the church sanctuary. We were worshipping as a team Sunday night in there and I felt I should go to the morning service. Even though as a team we were either hanging in the prayer room or doing the kids service.The church was German speaking and Lutheran. I went and even though I couldn't understand most of it, there were aspects of the service I recognised by the tone it was said. The Lord's prayer and the Creed. I was intrigued by the fact that they sat down to sing. It got me start thinking 'how does what I'm seeing here in Germany relate to Wood Green?' I might not have understood and didn't particularly find I could worship... I prayed and contemplated with someone whispering odd bits of translation in my ear.

There was something raw in our times or worship in that sanctuary. Was it related to the fact that down the years people have met there in the name of Jesus.

Germany Mission

2010-04-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

Craziness continues.....

Tuesday morning I was asked if I what I was doing next week.... did I want to go on mission to Germany next week! Erm.... funnily enough I said YES!!! We fly out next Tuesday morning! hehe!

So we're going to Ahlerstedt...Which is here...

I'll be back the following Monday night! :-)

Looking Back!!

2010-04-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's crazy it is over 6 years since I went on my first overseas mission trips and a 16 months since my last... Memories and thoughts... Thailand smells, pictures, tastes... :-) Singing 'History Maker' in a Thai-School...

Rwanda refugee camp....

Ugandan bush...

The people I've met, the people I've been blessed to ministered too. I can't quite believe it. Craziness....

DELIRIOUS TO EASTER NO.1

2010-03-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Caption Competition

2010-03-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

Caption competition at http://cuthsyoof.blogspot.com/

Facedown 15 - taking the plunge

2010-03-26T15:29:00.001-07:00

The best part of 5 days home alone and a brain that refuses to really connect with reading a book for more than 5 pages... and even when writing this I end up putting the wrong words down.

Thinking is rather scary place to be - noise is not that fun (when it feels like a steel band)... The cold took hold last Saturday after hearing a mate (BH) talk about 15 minutes fasting noise and being in silence before God a day... I'd thought I want to do this but cold got in the way of processing...

A few weeks ago at our Lent course we talked about silence and sat in silence for 3 minutes. The thing I discovered was the inability to empty my brain of stuff but this was a challenge for 5 times as long.

So I've decided to take up this challenge and will try to blog to see what happens...

Regenerate

2010-03-12T23:34:00.001-08:00

A colleague is currently studying for an essay resurection and was telling me this cool fact...

Every cell in your body is changed over a seven-year period.

The human body is a really crazy thing with such microscopic things that have a vast impact on the rest of us, it blows your mind. Laminin is one that blows me... but this is... crazy...

Think about it - your body is completely different that is was 7 years ago. It is hard for us to conprehend a resurrection body but... similar to Doctor Who (but not quite) our body is regenerated. Every 7 years we have a new body. This affects not just our physical being, but our emotional and mental being. You truely are a new creation! :-)

Pray for BURMA

2010-03-12T04:09:00.000-08:00

This is not right! Join in praying this weekend for change - the Global day of prayer for Burma. http://www.partnersworld.org/usa/images/stories/downloads/GDOP_2010.pdf

Prophets and Exile

2010-03-08T07:11:00.000-08:00

Man alive, not posted anything in 3 months. I suppose the main reason for that has been busyness. Someone (my sis-in-law) did ask how I manage to facebook, tweet and blog? The answer is simply - I don't. Well, I do when I remember.

This morning I went to college and a lecture on the Prophets. Thinking mainly about Isaiah and the prophets around the exile and the return from exile. It was quite good. Although, college seems to have a challenge every week (wasn't quite prepared for that). Growing up I always took the bible literally - literal Eden, Isaiah was 'A' prophet etc... but to realise there is an argument that says well maybe the book of Isaiah is written by 3 people and maybe pulled together by a 'disciple', is somewhat challenging!!! Over the coming week I will be thinking about this quite a lot because I have a essay to write on it! It's going to be a fun few weeks! :-)

God is My Portion

2009-12-28T01:40:00.001-08:00

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Ps 73: 25-27

I'm Coming Back

2009-12-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

This song is great... it gets you in the back of the throat.

Essay Frustration

2009-12-01T08:30:00.001-08:00

So far have written....

‘A church exists by mission as a fire exists by burning’ , surely a church that is not mission centred is not existing it’s merely a group of people gathered together....

Quote from Sobino

2009-11-18T05:56:00.000-08:00

Essay prep is coming along... although I am not sure I full get what I'm meant to be answering. I found this very cool quote... not sure if I agree with it yet but it sounds good....

'To know the truth is to do the truth, to know Jesus is to follow Jesus, to know sin is to tak away sin, to know suffering is to free the world form suffering, to know God is to go to God in justice' Quote from Sobino in Models of Contextual Theology by S B Bevan

A tidy office....?!

2009-11-03T03:46:00.001-08:00

For the first time since starting doing youth worker I am now overseeing and driving what happens. Up till this year I have always been working under a senior youth worker. Now... it's my turn. I know have a lot of respect for my youth leaders... never did I realise how much work is involved. The things they need to think about. :-)

I am currently juggling youth alpha course with the other week by week groups. I wonder how did I get into this. ... oh yeah God called me to do it.

My desk is a bit of a state at the moment... but I do know where everything is. But in the midst of caos the Holy Spirit is on the move. I am seeing the young people hungering after God and understanding scripture... they are asking some great questions at alpha... there honesty is great. I have to remind myself of the great stuff when the paperwork gets me down... and I wonder what will happen next!

Youth Alpha

2009-10-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

Last night was the second session of youth alpha at St C's. We had 6 and one of them didn't come last week. Which is cool.

Each we the younng people have the opportunmity to put a queston in the bowl and each week we answer a 1 or 2 of them. Last night we pulled out

How do you know if you've led a good life?

If God created us, then who created God?

Interesting....

Catching up with Ffion

2009-10-03T07:10:00.001-07:00

P01-10-09_12.59
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

I popped around to pick up a book and got introduced to my God-daughters new friends.... Lola and Lota the chickens that live at the end of her garden,.

Greek 'n' Life

2009-09-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well the lack of blogging has been in relationship to starting college and starting up new youth group. (and the internet deciding it was going to stop working for a 10 days). :-)

I've started studying at St Paul's Theological Centre - doing a diploma in Contextual theolgy. I'm just taking a break from trying to learn the greek alphabet. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon... and all that jazz.

There are some lovely people on my course. The new youth group BREAKOUT is growing in momentum - my side kick, J, is being a great support. Youth alpha started on monday alongside Alpha. n:forum is back in rehearsals with the new STOP team...

Life is busy as ever. Catch ya soon....

Weekend of Prayer

2009-09-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

Rail Enthusiasts Disease

2009-09-09T04:26:00.001-07:00

Mammen Holiday 124
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

Reputation

2009-08-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

Does it really matter what people think of us? If things go pear shaped is our reputation on the line?

Do women have to work harder at there reputation than men? Is it different in church? Are we slower to pass judgement?

Reactions

2009-07-28T02:28:00.000-07:00

When you're ill, I've discovered you either turn into Winnie the Pooh or Eeyore... or a bizarre mixture of both. You lie in bed - unable to concentrate to read a book and listening to the radio is just noice... and so you turn into Pooh. *Think THink THink* You think around all kinds of things.. and then you turn into Eeyore. You get the grumps! Boredom kicks in and you sit stairing at the same dent in the wall... Moan to yourself.

I've also discovered the vampires....

Ok not quite but a similar response to holding a cross up to a vampire. A friend has just returned from 3 weeks in Israel and when I told him I'd got the lurgy... 'GOSH!!' (he's quite posh). He's mail has been redirected here whilst I'm away and so he's going to the extreme to plan picking up his post! Put in a carrier bag on the doorstep... The fact you can pick it up in the supermarkets or on the tube because it is everywhere at the moment. Similarly, 2 people close to me came to visit and they were nervous to hug me, touch door handels and try to open the fridge without touching it! It kinda makes you feel a bit of an outcast....

I feel sorry for those people that are ill in hospital and are allowed to no human contact at all! I thank Jesus for 2 friend who's family have had the flu and have come round to visit! One came round last night and was quite happy to curl up on the sofa and watch TV with me... keep me company!

I am now Tigger ... Looking forward to bouncing down the garden and the road tomorrow - when I'm set free! :-)

A Fraud

2009-07-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Since the launch of the new National Flu Service estimated over 100,000 people have been infected by swine flu. (BBC News)

Yesterday I went on the the online assessment - which enabled me to get the tamiflu drug without visiting my GP. I only went on because several people have commented on me feeling rough and looking flushed 'you sure you haven't got swine flu?' Having got up and gone to work as normal. I had been saying I doubt it... Half an hour later I was at home shattered. If I had felt this anyother time with out the news, I would have put it down to a summer cold or end of term/academic year run down.

My friend, Sue, went to pick up the Tamiflu from the collection point. Her family have had swine flu, they refer to themselves as 'My Flu Family'. I felt a fraud for getting them. I've heard stories of people dying of Swine Flu and I expected to feel a lot worse than I do!! It's not the worst I've been. I'm not very good at sitting ill at the best of times - a few years ago I got a stonking cold and still incisted on going to work in the snow. I ended up curled up on some stairs - Sue's husband - moaned at me (in a loving-you-dosy-girl way) and sent me home.

Jojo Moyes, said wrote in the telegraph 'It;s no fun, but I've had worse'(Article link)

I suppose it's the same as when common flu hits, people get ill and some will die. The difference is it's not at the forefront of the media. I feel for everyone else who is ill with swine flu - it's minging!

Swine Flu was not what I expected. I caught it when I didn't expect it. A few weeks ago - when they were closing Haringey schools - I had been in close proximity to students and a friends child who had it. But I was fine. I am not aware of people around me getting swine flu recently, but then again I could have picked it up in the supermarket.

I also did not expect it to affect my stomach and make me feel nausea! It was only yesterday that I discovered the stomachache and dodgy tummy was a symptom...

Death

2009-07-23T03:58:00.000-07:00

I know it's a very dipressing title! But it's a subject that I was discussing yesterday with my mate, Silvis. He was saying that it's a taboo subject. Have you ever wondered what it's like to die? How does it make you feel?

We talk about what it's like for those left behind, but what about the person who knows they are going to die soon? How do they feel? Does a Christian feel different to a non Christian?

I’ve just finished read ‘Thyme Out’ by Katie Fforde and the book looks at the relationship between a young woman and a old woman who dies, how the younger woman deals with the situation. It got me thinking ... the older woman lived life to the ‘full’ to the end. A larger than life character. It talked about those left behind and the old woman’s spirit still being around.... but what was she thinking about before she died.

My mum once said to me.... ‘Death doesn’t hurt but dying does’....

God of the Moon and Stars

2009-07-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

Confidence Building....

2009-07-09T03:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to a Sophia Network London Gathering. It was really cool - I bumped into a couple of friends who I always seem to bump into in random places. Places I haven't planned to see them....

Daphne Clifton was leading an hour seminar on Confidence Building. When I saw it advertised I'd gone with networking in mind but then found the seminar really useful. I always put someone as being confident as someone who always is talking in meetings and always putting the point of view forward. (I know steroyped view). But being shown the difference between being aggressive and assertive helped me looks at how I can put my view across. But it was great to see how I can be more confident and recognise the areas I am not confident. A lot of food for thought. (and tasty nibbles)

Unclean

2009-07-08T03:35:00.000-07:00

'A bowl of water. A bar of soap.
A flannel and a brush. I scrub away
At the mark. It won't come off.

'Our damn spot, out I say'

It glare at me... invisibe those
aroud me. Again and again. And
Again.

I lather.I wash. I pour the hot liquid
on my les and scub and scrub.
My body is raw from scrubbig.

But...

Still I can feel dirt onme.
Tears run downmy face in
Desperation. Will I ever be clean.
It sticks like tar. Refusing to come
Off. I hate this feeling.

Again I scrub...again... again...
Still the invisible grime is on m.
A piercing scream of desperation
Overflows.'

Thinking about what it feels like to be 'unclean'

God's Chisel

2009-07-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

2009-06-26T04:34:00.000-07:00

A missionary is not someone who crosses the sea but someone who see's the Cross - J. John

Dreaming

2009-06-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

I love day dreaming. Often I dream of the day I'll full in love and live happy ever after... a pit like in Cinderella or Pocohontas. But at the moment I am excited about What God is doing and where He is taking me. Yesterday I realised I am currently doing my dream job. A few years ago I said to a mate that I would love to be doing schools work and working in the community. And... that's what I am doing.

I can feel this excited expectation of what Jesus is going to do. I'm day - dreaming ideas for September. Wondering what God will do with what I am doing over the next few months. Come September we've got Alpha starting and Breakout (14-19) bible study. C'MON!! GETTIN'!

A year on!

2009-06-17T03:45:00.000-07:00

This time last year I was packed and moving up North! I had dreams of reaching the whole world for Jesus through this rural village.

Reading blogs from my time there is a bizarre experience. I often wonder what was going on in my brain and to be honest I'm not sure. Reading back the blogs.... well go and look at July last year

Well it proves many things as my dear babymother reminded me last week - I'm called to London and specifically Haringey at the moment! I'm seeing things happen that I would not have dreamed off. I'm working for a place that God keeps opening my eyes to more of it.

I'm off to do a safer neighbourhood event for oyuth involvement in the community!

Neighbours

2009-06-07T11:13:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon I was having a lie down when the cacophony of police cyrons reached my ears. When I realised they weren't moving I looked out the window... I saw plain clothed police running through the garden and in to the alotments. It made me think what's going on in my community.

I just read the HTMI blog and Dave was talking about something similar. The HAckney stabbing a few weeks ago that was just around the corner from his flat. Do we really know our community? Do we really know our neighbours?

I love watching Neighbours. It is a cheesy soap, I know. But there is something about living in an area where people know you. 'Cheers' had the tagline 'Where Everyone Knows Your Name?'. That's what Neigbours is. A culdersack where everyone knows each other. Todays society is quite private - smile at someone in the street and they think your odd....

On one side of my house is the vicar and the other is alotment.... who lives the otherside of the alotment? Who spend there time on the alotments? I know people are the schools but I don't know many people on my road.

The Big Lunchhas got me thinking. This is an idea which is encouraging communities to be community. As Christian's we need to embrace and do things like this not for a day but as part of our lives. Dare I chat to someone waiting for a bus? offer them a seat or a cuppa tea?

Uganda Report

2009-05-29T05:34:00.000-07:00

You've been asking for news of what happened in Uganda. You've had a written report.. click this link for a powerpoint report HERE

Lost in London

2009-05-04T10:24:00.001-07:00

Lost in London
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

Why is it that London-ers don't know London?!

Today I went to town with Mike (from SW) and between us we walked the wrong way several times. And made some classy big loops.... Why don't I know my own city?

Suse rather frustrated with Suse! (and wondering why the fella's around her at the moment have got stomach bugs?) Is it me? Don't answer that!

An Easter Lesson

2009-04-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

This week I'm doing a load of lessons in a local school on Easter and Pentecost. I was really blown away by one boy in the class. He came forward and got pied instead of his classmate. He engaged with the lessons. His helper came and told me he was partially sighted and so couldn't see if I pointed at him. At the end of the lesson said he had never known why we celebrate Easter... til now. :-O

I bumped into him today and he started asking me lots of questions.

It's slightly concerning how little students know about Christianity considering they are living in a 'Christian Country'. But then I remember how little I know about Islam and Judaism.

The Women at The Well

2009-04-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

I've been watching the Woman at the Well Monologue and preparing a bible study on John 4. It's funny isn't it that you can ready a story so many times and not seen something. Well I realised that not only was this woman seaching for recognition as a human but she wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to Love her and she went from Man to man looking for it... she didn't find it.

So many of us go through life searching for love and not finding it. Sometimes we don't find it in a biological family, our friends, our boyfriends... anyone who surrounds us. We keep searching in the same sort of places. The woman at the well I imagine thought that a man would show her the love she needed and desired... but it wasn't there.

Elijah looked for the presense of God... He looked in the storm. It wasn't there. He looked in the earthquake. It wasn't there. He looked in the fire. It wasn't there. He found it in the whisper...

The woman of Samaria searched for love in one man. It wasn't there. She searched in another. It wasn't there. She searched in another. It wasn't there. She did it 6 times and then this one man came along who loved her. But not in the way that she probably had expected. He knew her better than she knew herself. He loved her for not what He could get, but rather what He could give her.

We search for love and fullfillment in the wrong places. Even though we know we can't earn our salvation and it has been freely given by grace. We still naturally try to do stuff to earn it. We become a human doing rather than a human being. Jesus is love is there for the asking. Even when we've been followers of The Way for years we still forget that we are still loved for being us not for what we do.

Do a dance

2009-04-23T06:37:00.001-07:00

Do a dance
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

Love is...

2009-04-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

'Love is an adjective'

Love is a trinity

It's active

It's without limit.

More you give away the more you get

Love is redeeming

Keeps no record of wrongs

Love is life giving!

The Woman at the Well

2009-04-07T02:50:00.001-07:00

2009-03-28T07:53:00.001-07:00

Deuteronomy 7:7-8 (New International Version)

7 The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt.

2009-03-19T07:33:00.001-07:00

Joe on a Bridge
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

That's My King

2009-03-11T03:08:00.001-07:00

Mourning

2009-03-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Grieving engulfs like fog,
When you least expect it.
It rises and falls like the tide,
No one see's it coming,
Although you expect it.

The thick sick catches in
Your Throat. Tears run over
Rosey cheeks that are normally...
Smiling!

The dawn wakes the sleeping body,
Eyelids flickers,
The first thing comes to mind
Water stings the edge. Eyelids close
Trying to shut out the light.
Falsing the water to run.

The pain. The disbelief. Who
Can comprehend it? Who will
hold you as the sobs break
The compassionate loving heart.

Cups of tea keep coming.
Who understands how your feeling?
The roar brims the surface of the lips.
Does anybody here her? Does anybody see?

2009-03-02T02:38:00.000-08:00

'God is raising a generation where you can't tell what they are. ... They believe in it all. You can't clasify them' Steve Uppall

You can't clasify people by denomination - they would say they're Christian. No particular denomination but their primary desire is to be Bible based, Spirit led and Christ centred.

'No-kissing Zone'

2009-02-26T02:55:00.000-08:00

I was sitting eating my M & S sandwich on the pavement in Covent Garden. A girl ran to her fella in a passionate embrace. My thought was.... 'man alive, get a room'.

People kissing can be rather distracting - as a much as you know you shouldn't watch or stare, you generally end up doin so. Or, conciously trying to stop yourself from looking.

In the Evening Standard (18/02/09) a guy was writing on this very issue. Warringting Bank Quay station has been desginated a no-kissing zone. As much as i find people kissing in public annoying - I think this is somewhat over-board.

Back a hundred years ago in certain classes of people kissing in 'public' was not the done thing. You wouldn't have seen the Lord and Lady of the manor getting it on in the middle of regents street.

Upsetting the status quo quo would cause uproar. Change of any kind of causes uproar or grumbles. An area like 'kissing allet' in Guanajuato in Mexico when a public order bill included the offence of 'obscene touching' (which included prolonged kissing) there was an outcry. The tiniest change can cause upset.

If nothing ever changed - nothing would move forward. If everything stayed the same life would be boring. Change is good. Change means progression. Change means risk. Different is risk. but when it's the right risk - it's the difference betwenn seing stuff happen and remaining stagnent.

I told a male friend about this article over a cup of coffee. His response was 'I wish my kitchen was a no-kissing zone. Man, the couple staying at the moment'

Woody the Missionary

2009-02-24T05:04:00.000-08:00

On Sunday afternoon - Woody died after 2 years fighting cancer. I found this picture on facebook. For a while he was in India teaching English. He was ordained last summer. But to me he's my big brother. He made me laugh and told me stories of Winston and Tallulah a jamaican couple. He came on holiday with us, lived with us and took me on day trips. He was an amazing man of God. He was 32.

Woody aka. Father Joseph Woodstock Morris. I love you so much and missing you tons. BIG SQUEEEZEEEE

Uganda 2009

2009-02-22T05:14:00.000-08:00

26h Jan—4th Feb 2009 a team of 3 adventurers descended on the beautiful country of Uganda. ‘Batman’ (Dave), ‘Robin’ (Richard) and ‘Superwoman’ (Me) were there to share the gospel of Jesus at a Youth conference in Bushenyi district and a pastors conference in Kiruhura district. This was their mission. They agreed to take it and see what might happen along the way.

Many a time along that way I questioned whether I was mad or whether Dave and Richard were mad in allowing me to join them. I discovered we were all slightly mad. To say the trip was very natural probably sounds a bit bizarre, but everything seemed to flow in such away, that it’s the only word I can think of to describe our adventure. Last year the 3 of us had travelled and ministered together for the first time in Eastern Africa. So, maybe you would expect this, I however hadn’t.

During the trip the presence of God was evident. Sometime it felt electric and other times you could sense it, almost waiting off stage in the wings, waiting to make a flamboyant entrance.

The Youth Conference was us in Bushenyi district. A village which was rather remote—this had been strategic so their were less distractions for the young people. Young people is 2-30ish. Any image I had in my head of youth conferences - I had to forget and respond to what I saw. Dave, gave me the task of teaching the session on Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I had been freaking out about this. I hadn't really taught it before - but God’s presence was manifest. The majority of people there received the Holy Spirit and number received the gift of tongues. It was an incredible sight and sound.

The image that will remain in my mind - was Dave teaching on the power of the word of God. He’d got some young people to make a cross and sword. He got chased by a child around the congregation demonstrating that you can chase the enemy with ‘The Sword’ (word of God).

In the area we did 2 nights of crusades. We saw around 115 people make commitments to Christ. We got to pray with people and saw several renounce witchcraft. It was AWESOME!

Saturday - we spent the day visiting 3 church plants. Kiyanja, Kyera and Biharwe are churches that Pastor Noah (the guy who organised the conferences) planted. Kiyanja is in very poor village—the church roof is made of UNHCR tar pooling. Kyera church we ministered in last year. Biharwe is in a remote area not far from a Witchcraft shrine/village.

We visited Kyera church who’s pastor is Alex. (Alex translated with Noah for us at the conferences). We met with Ruth—whom I had prophesied over on our last trip that she was ‘pregnant with something’. I had imagined it was an idea. She was actually pregnant with a baby. I was almost reduced to tears as I held baby Favour—aged 3 months—in my arms. Ruth is looking after her brother David’s home and the 5 children that live there. These children have been rescued from the street or having ill-treated. She’s become ‘Mum’ to 6 children in a year.

Biharwe Church was quite an experience. We met a guy called Ali and his mother. They were from a cannibal clan. They had been Muslim but had become Christians. You could see Jesus on both their faces. It completely blue my mind. Pastor Ema had been called to minister in this area. (We had met him last year at the leaders conference - a newly married man). We were taken to visit the witchcraft shrine just up the road from the church - you could feel the evil. I have huge respect for the pastors over there. They have incredible ministries.

The Pastor’s conference was held in Roshere, Kuruhura District. During our whole time in Uganda we were made more and more aware of the issue of child sacrifice, witchcraft and the lack of medical supplies. 1 in 5 Africans have HIV/AIDS. It shook me when I statically worked out how many of the people we ministered to would have either of these. We talked a lot at the pastor’s conference about the Church’s responsibility to protect and nurture children.

People were baptised in the Holy Spirit and people were walking to the front or coming from their houses to commit their lives to Christ/renounce witchcraft during times of worship. We didn’t do an ‘auto call’ at any time at the conference. We saw people healed physically and start the journey towards spiritual/emotional healing.

IT WAS A LIFE CHANGING FOR ME AND PEOPLE I MET!!!!

Uganda 2009

2009-01-23T03:03:00.000-08:00

Uganda looms ever closer. Me and the 'hatters' fly out on Monday afternoon (26th Jan). We are going to be doing a youth conference for 350 and pastors conference for 200. We shall be in Bushenyi and Mbarara - South West Uganda. We fly back on the 4th February.

www.htmi.org.uk

4missio

2008-12-30T14:18:00.000-08:00

New years Resolutions

2008-12-29T04:06:00.000-08:00

Okay it ain't new years day yet but I'm fed up that I've had to buy a bigger size of jeans.... I heard that you generally put 6lbs on over a Christmas. I'd agree.

I've decided to go back to Weight Watchers - the first time I did it I lost 1 1/2 stone and the second time 9lbs (altho alot of that was stress related). So this time I want to loose weight and be able to maintain it. 2 stone over the year.

Likelihood of it happening? Well my stubborness comes into play when I do this! :-)

Delivery

2008-12-23T04:23:00.000-08:00

This morning I was in the shower.... and the door bell rang. As aalways it made me jump... It's very loud and has it's annoying-ness. I jumped out and tried to pull clothes on to go and answer it... now this may sound odd but after my parents were broken into this time last year... whilst my little sis was in the bathroom after she'd ignored loud knocking on the door, you maybe able to understand.

Anyway, I could move fast enough and in the end ignored it. When I eventually went down I saw a note from the delivery man.... it said 'We were unable to deliver your (package box ticked)and so have left it with the Wheelbarrow in the garden'. I pull face. Not aware that there is one in the garden. I toddle out and it have indeed been left with the rusty wheelbarrow in the garden..... Why they didn't leave with my neighbour I don't know!!!

She is so annoying!!

2008-12-01T13:24:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I was sitting in a meeting - getting very frustrated with the female sitting next to me. She kept on talking and asking what I thought silly questions. Now I don't know if you know the feeling I'm talking about. You know - when you want to turn round and yell 'WON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP'. Emotions, hormones, adrenaline, are flying around your body ..... and...... grrrrr..... is the only way to describe what you were feeling.

Inside I cried out 'GOD GIVE ME PATIENCE OR PLEEEEASE MAKE HER FERMER LA BOUCH'

God - It's not her that is 'annoying', it's your response to what she is doing which causes the annoyance.

Huh!!!!! He's right.... when we get frustrated with someone, it's us that generally has the problem not them. I say generally because some people just have a habit of doing annoying things. But, to the same act we could feel all kinds of things... laughter, joy or even love. If someone talks you are absorbed by what they say but if you are in a mood, it doesn't.

Also - I have to grow patience, he won't just give it to me. :-)

LAMININ!!!

2008-11-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

"Smug-Married Couples"

2008-11-04T04:32:00.000-08:00

I went to a BBQ/firework gathering at friends house and I felt like Bridget Jones. In the Christian world the 'smug-married couples' occur not at 30 but in the early/ mid-twenties. The BBQ consisted of 15 people or so - 3 of which were singles. The rest were newly-weds or newly-engaged people. I have told my friend he needs more single friends.... especially male ones.

Singletons within the church are often sidelined and younger marrieds often forget what it is like to be single. Attending social events alone. They have a great line 'you are still young' when you air your frustration your singleness. The number of single women to men is like 100 to 1! Ok - an overstatement but you get what I mean. Helen Sloane - Jeff Lucas' book demonstrates this situation v well.

At a recent meeting of local youth meetings - i was so pleased to see of the 15 people - 12 of which were single and majority were female. THe youthwork world is generally male dominated - despite the fact church is female dominated as a whole in the UK.

OK - this a random collection of thoughts but i'm also trying to pack to move house! :-)

I'm going to use this some how

2008-10-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

Recently I picked a plum in my brother’s garden – it was juicy and beautiful to look at. I took an enormous bit, craving fresh fruit, it was lovely and I glanced down from where I had bitten. There I noticed the wriggling form of a maggot next to the stone. Not such a nice plum after all. It made me squirm a bit.

Ross and Brand!

2008-10-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

BBC Scandel

Now I sometimes find Jonathan Ross' humour not my cup of tea and Russell Brand just odd but things seem to have gone a bit too far. They've both apologised and suspended. Brand has quit.... I would miss Jonathan Ross' saturday morning radio programme....

I know a lot of people have their views. I read some in my mum's Telegraph but everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe all this will shake them up a bit and they might watch their tongue.

As someone pointed out on the radio - as time of airing only 2 people complained and it took 9 days or so for it to hit the headline! Now 30,000 complaints or something. Is it me or does it seem all a bit crazy?

If anything it takes everyone mind of the financial crisis?

Uganda/Rwanda News

2008-10-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

Great news on the HTMI updated website....

.... the Church plant near Kibuye, Rwanda which was birthed out of the mission there at the beginning of the year. A small piece of land was purchased and the congregation seems to be doing well. Noah visited the Church there this October and keeps in regular contact. The main Church in Kyera is thriving with over 100 attending and a new congregation has now been planted in Mbarara.

I Don't Pack a Matic!!!

2008-10-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

This is great - one of my buddies filmed a few months ago for uni!!!

Seein' ya job!!

2008-10-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

It's very weird to see the advert for your replacement....well I did today! But was is very weird is that I never saw an advert for the job before I had it.

Still job hunting... I heard today I didn't fit one job I applied for! Does working in Oxfam shop count as retail experience?!

Tooooo Much!!!

2008-10-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

Over the past week I've been to the local pub 3 times.... each with 2 different blokes... both of which involved intense/deep conversation. Each time I walked in the smiley barman was there... do you ever wonder what people think of you? Well I did. This for some is not that odd but for me it is. I don't go to the pub that often - maybe once in 3 months. I am more likely to walk into a coffee shop 3 times in a week. Each time I ordered either diet coke or a latte..... lol!!!

I must stop worrying what people think of me and just get on with it.

NEED, RESPONSE, RESULT!

2008-09-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

A teenage girl of 14/15 in a little black dress tottered down the road in shoes which I know for certain, that if I was wearing them, I would fall flat on my face. She is certainly turning a few heards and runs to great a girl who could easily be her twin. 2 boys hover either side - obviously stating their claim.

Another group of a similar age run past me - who is sitting on a wall listening to MP3 of Godfrey Birtill. This group are in vest tops and denim shorts carrying bags of booze, purchased from the cheap shop up the road.

THE NEED

A mate is kicking a football around a patch of grass with a load of kids. A shop front which which has a cross in the window and inside I can young people playing pool. A friend greets me with a hug, asks how i am, offers a cup of tea and all i did was come and drop off some textbooks.

THE RESPONSE

It seemed such a paradox. In real time I saw THE RESPONSE before THE NEED. I am now discussing the result a friend knowing her younger sister is out and about drunk - she's 16. THE RESULT.

What are we going to do? As I watched this drunk girl flirt with a man at the bus stop I thought, WHAT CAN WE DO? WHAT MORE?

A promise in the sky!!!

2008-09-26T08:31:00.001-07:00

ACross Beer Bay
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

For those who have read Genesis or the story of noah, you will know the symbol of a rainbow. God promised never to flood the earth again. For me, whenever I see it symbolises every promise God ever made to his people.... it especially brings to mind God's promise to Abram - he would be a blessing to all nations.... he would have lots of babies.

This view over the bay at Beer have some memories to it. Me and a mate were just about to walk down to the beach.... we had just got v wet and out shoes squelched as we walked down the hill. We tried skimming stones (well he could... I couldn't), laughed and joked..... the sea was beautiful, the sky was beautiful and the company was beautiful....... :-)

'There is something about the Ocean' - Ten Shekel Shirt

There is something about a rainbow.....

I saw a rainbow in the sky whilst on a prayer walk ... it was right above us ... it looked like a smile in the sky.....

Even men Iron!!!

2008-09-04T07:55:00.001-07:00

Even men Iron!!!
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

I've discovered in this one particular batchelor pad - the ironing board is constantly up.... and they iron everything! lol!

Now is it me that only finds it odd, that ironing tshirts and boxers weird?! I just pull clothes iron and the creases full out whilst i am wearing it! :-)

ALL CHANGE!!!

2008-09-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know I am now back in North London, I left my job in Kibworth.... many of you are probably wondering 'why?' In short, things just didn't work out. In long.... Don't worry..Suse is back. lol!!

I am job hunting .... thinking I might like to work in a coffee shop. hmm... nice! :-)Last week I was on 0808 mission and festival it was awesome. Check out the website. I am not all that sure what I am going to do really but I am asking God for a bolt of lightening in which to tell me what to do but I know he is in to the still small voice thing ... listening to the whispering outside a closed door.

I am scater brains at the moments - so apologies if this is the first you've heard I am back. I love you lots but my brain is like a bus....

Talking of buses.... last week on the 0808 mission I spent most of the time working on a bus we borrowed from XLP with a nutter of a bus driver, called Matt. It was so odd being back on my old patch.... well the patch I grew up on and telling people about Jesus. WE werer going around local estates with the bus which had laptops and stuff on... young people came on and just chilled out etc. 5 people gave their lives to Christ and we made loads of really cool contacts. 3 girls whilst having their nails painted and 2 adults. It was an awesome week, working alongside people from local churches.I've made lots of new cool friends...God is amazing. I ADORE HIM AND LOVE MISSION.

Looking down the train line

2008-09-01T06:41:00.001-07:00

Looking down the train line
Originally uploaded by Suse Mammen

What's coming next? I looking. I'm listening. I'm waiting! :-)

Things aren't always as they seem....

2008-08-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you look at things and they look perfect. Everything you ever dreamed off but when you climb inside to enjoy the 'perfection' you realise that actually it's consuming and killing you. Everything you try to enjoy the 'perfection' causes the heart to clench and wrestle in turmoil. You decide to run and that it's as hard as staying - the looks of dismay, sadness and anger at you running are like arrows that hit you. You through yourself into the arms of your Father and the soreness causes you to writh in discomfort in the arms of love.

Jonah 2
Jonah's Prayer
1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. 2 He said:
"In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave [a] I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the deep,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.

4 I said, 'I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.'

5 The engulfing waters threatened me, [b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.

6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit,
O LORD my God.

7 "When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.

8 "Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

9 But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the LORD."

10 And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Burma is Still there!!!

2008-08-02T14:29:00.001-07:00

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE!

http://www.thecuttingedgenews.com/index.php?article=603

Story Time

2008-07-30T07:29:00.001-07:00

Story Time
Originally uploaded by erase

My God-daughter is deciding to grow up a bit too fast for my liking - whilst I am not looking she decided to start talking and walking around. She is now a little toddler ..... aaaah!!! She is as gorgeous as ever. lol!

While small people toddle around and read books not worrying about much.. Fairy-God-Mum is having to think about a lot. I'd quite to go back to being a small person. I currently have a horrid cramp in my stomach and it's not my T.O.M. It's decision making and God making my life uncomfortable.....

I heard a great quote the other day 'I didn't realise Jesus was all I needed until He was all I had'. (Pastor dude @ Knighton Evangelical, Leicester).

2008-07-28T03:21:00.000-07:00

What's the vision?
What's the big idea?

2008-07-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

Psalm 42:4

"My heart breaks when I remember the past,
when I went with the crowds to the house of God
and led them as they walked along,
a happy crowd, singing and shouting praise to God.
Why am I so sad?
Why am I so troubled?
I will put my hope in God,
and once again I will praise him,
my saviour and my God. "